I didn’t watch “True Detective” until about nine months after everybody else did, so I was completely left out of the national dialogue on that one. (IDK if anybody mentioned it, but that show has kind of a woman problem?) But with “The Jinx,” I’m probably only like two or three weeks behind the rest of the world, and I’m ready to join the conversation RIGHT NOW. Stop rolling your eyes at me, and let’s do this.
1. How creepy is it that Robert Durst kept calling her “Kathie Durst”? Not “my first wife” or “Kathie” or even “my ex-wife.” Always with the two names, very formally. If you ever hear my husband refer to me repeatedly by both my first and last names, please go ahead and assume he knows the exact location of my remains.
2. Did you know Andrew Jarecki is super-wealthy? The director of “The Jinx” was a cofounder of MovieFone, which was purchased by AOL (in 1999, prior to the collapse of the tech bubble) for $388 million in stock. Which brings us to my next question…
I want to make it clear right up front that this is not a post about bodily fluids. I mean, I could write a novel about that, if you want — but I don’t think you do. If you are squeamish or simply not interested in the secretions of others, know that this is a safe place.
However, we’re coming up pretty quickly on my son’s first birthday, so I’m about to get very mommy-blogger in this bitch and reminisce about the day he was born. And, more specifically, what it was like for ME. (I’m only about six months removed from being a legit Millennial, so yeah this is about me. Duh.)
The funny thing about being in labor is the tricks your memory plays on you. Time kind of stretches out and loops back on itself, and it’s hard to keep track of what’s happening and in what order.
(Also, I don’t have any basis for comparison, but I assume this whole time-shifting, memory-warping experience is amplified if you’re on magnesium sulfate — which I was. Here’s my one-sentence review of magnesium sulfate: “I’ve never in my life been so unhappy to be so high.” Once magnesium sulfate gets a Yelp page, it will be hearing from me.)
So in the interest of family history, I feel the need to write down the few ephemeral labor memories I have left before they go the way of Brian Austin Green’s hip-hop aspirations, or Jordan Knight’s solo career. (Which reference is timelier? Neither.)