1. Lose all the baby weight immediately. Do you want your child to think of you as svelte and conventionally attractive, or slovenly and besaddlebagged?
2. Get rid of your TV. Well, don’t just get rid of it — that’s wasteful. Convert it into a planter for an organic herb garden.
3. Breastfeed. Until he’s 12 years old. Continue reading
Ugh, babies — am I right? They’re a lot of fucking work, if you’re trying to do a halfway decent job. But there are a few simple tricks that can make the ceaseless indignity of being a parent so much easier, you’ll forget you even have kids! Read on if you’re ready to be dumbfounded by these amazing life hacks …
1. Drop your baby off in the woods to be raised by a pack of feral cats. Cats are majestic and beautiful animals. What’s more, they are very clean and super-intelligent. Now, take a hard look in the mirror. Can you honestly say the same about yourself? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Continue reading