Tag Archives: apologies

My Top 7 Work Email Passive-Aggressions

I’m a woman, which means I’ve been groomed from birth to believe that my two primary functions in society are (1) to please others and (2) to be  pleasing to others. So it’s basically a miracle that every work email I send is not a helter-skelter concatenation of apologies, exclamation points, lols, and smiley faces.

As I age, though, I’m trying harder and harder not to apologize just for (1) existing and (2) completing the functions outlined in my job description. But it’s hard to overwrite years of psychological conditioning. So now I’m at a point where I review each message carefully before I send it, and I usually end up editing out (and then re-adding, and then cutting again, and then sometimes compromising on) about five apologies a week. Based on my hourly rate, I would estimate that my company pays me nearly $200 every week to carefully consider my usage of the phrase “I’m sorry” via email.

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Filed under My Stupid Life, Questionable Cubicling

10 Things I Really Mean When I Sign a Work Email With, “Thanks!”

This is a pretty short list, but it’s actually a prequel to a longer post I have in the works. So, please read this and know that it’s part of my larger manifesto on passive-aggressive emailing at work. (Trust me: I’ve spent the past eleven years of my life embedded in cubicle culture, like Jane Goodall amongst the chimps, and I can sling mud via Outlook with the bitchiest of primates.) Continue reading


Filed under My Stupid Life, Questionable Cubicling

7 People Who Deserve An Apology From Katy Perry

This post is less than timely, because I’ve been in an abusive relationship with Katy Perry’s “Roar” since last August. But this song is still EVERYWHERE on the radio, and it’s such a vicious earworm that I can’t stop hating myself for listening to it on purpose sometimes. So I spend a lot of commute time meditating on this particular topic, and it’s finally time to exorcise this thing from my system (if such a thing is possible).

The song is catchy enough, in kind of a bouncy/inoffensive way, but the lyrics. OMG you guys the lyrics. It’s like she took a bunch of cliches and famous quotes and just whizzed them up in a blender and made Dumb Lyrics Soup.

In no particular order, here are the people and artists who have been besmirched by their (presumably involuntary) association with “Roar.”

1)  Former U.S. Senate Chaplain Peter Marshall, whom I believe is the originator of the phrase, “Unless we stand for something, we shall fall for anything.” Katy’s version is, “I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything” — which I feel must still be true, or why else would she be with alpha-douche John Mayer? Continue reading


Filed under Pop Culture