Category Archives: Incontrovertible Facts

The 31 Worst Kinds of People

There are very few people in the world I truly hate, because hating takes a lot of energy and I am LAAA-ZYYYY! (Please read that last word in the sing-song-y tone of your preference.) But if disliking people were a sport, I would be the Serena Williams of my generation. OK, maybe not — Serena Williams is the Serena Williams of my generation, and Serena Williams is actually two months younger than me, and I am such a failure compared to Serena Williams.

So forget all of that Serena Williams stuff, I guess.

What I’m trying to say is that I’ve achieved superhuman levels of skill, if you are of the mind that “actively disliking and dismissing entire groups of people” is a craft. Having spent more than three decades finely honing my abilities to pre-judge, sneer at, and dismiss my fellow man, I am pleased today to present you with a comprehensive list of The Actual Worst Kinds of People. (This is the closest I will ever get to writing a thesis. But please call me “Doctor” anyway.)

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