12 Reasons Why I Didn’t Pee

And they’re all perfectly valid.

  1. I was in a public bathroom and got a bad case of performance anxiety.
  2. I had already been to the toilet in question, and decided I would rather risk a UTI than endure that particular brand of filth again.
  3. I wasn’t allowed, because I was about to get an ultrasound and they needed my bladder to be full for some kind of logistical/sadistic reason.
  4. I was too drunk to find the bathroom.
  5. I was too stoned to realize I had to pee.
  6. I was watching a horror movie and was too scared to move off the couch.
  7. I was in seventh grade at a junior high assembly and I didn’t want all the eighth graders to look at me as I got up and walked to the exit.
  8. I was on a Greyhound.
  9. I was too lazy.
  10. I was in such a big hurry to leave that I didn’t even want to waste two more minutes going to the bathroom.
  11. I didn’t want people on the other side of the bathroom door to hear me peeing.
  12. I didn’t have to go.

 

5 Comments

Filed under My Stupid Life

5 responses to “12 Reasons Why I Didn’t Pee

  1. You seriously have one of my favorite blogs. EVER!

  2. This is so beautifully random 😀

  3. Pingback: 12 Reasons Why I Didn’t Pee | MY THOUGHT EXACTLY

  4. Well, who can argue with that logic?

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