29 Rejected Kimye Baby Names

I feel a certain kinship with Kim Kardashian West, because we’ve always been pregnant at the same time. While she beat me to the delivery room by about five months this time around, we were due within about a week of each other back in 2013.

And we both suffered from preeclampsia with our first pregnancies. I actually diagnosed her from my couch, where I was already on doctor-ordered bedrest, after spotting a paparazzi photo of her feet that revealed a scorching case of edema. (By that time, my own personal footwear collection had been effectively reduced to “house slippers” and, for my twice-weekly trips to the doctor, “fancy goin’-out slippers.”)

But while Kim and I are forever bonded by our similarly timed pregnancies and mutual dislike for the gestational phase, I completely lack her confidence and élan when it comes to baby names. I mean, North West? Saint West? I just couldn’t! I’d feel too self-conscious.

I do wonder, though, if these baby names arrived to Kim and Kanye fully formed. Like, did Kanye wake up from a dream, soaked in sweat and eyes wild, shouting the word “Saint”? Or, like me and my husband, was there a long list of half-assed ideas and brainstorms… and did it maybe (probably, definitely) look anything like this?

  1. Doctor
  2. Chief Justice
  3. Professor Emeritus
  4. Vice Chair
  5. Secretary of the Interior
  6. PhD
  7. Sir
  8. Mayor of Hollywood
  9. SVP, Finance
  10. Braden
  11. Jaden
  12. Caden
  13. Executive Editor
  14. Major Major
  15. Minneapolis Fed President
  16. Commander in Chief
  17. Dear Leader
  18. Duke of Earl
  19. Office of the Exchequer
  20. Prince Philip
  21. Your Excellency
  22. Taco Supreme
  23. Nevaeh
  24. Reverend
  25. Reverend Doctor
  26. Bishop
  27. Cardinal
  28. Pope
  29. Jaxon

SAINT!!!

3 Comments

Filed under Pop Culture

3 responses to “29 Rejected Kimye Baby Names

  1. Kate

    SVP, Finance! hahahaha

  2. Dick was probably taken. Oh sorry, i’m referencing the father now.

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