This is a list of people whispering plaintively into the nothingness of the universe, “Can I live?!?”
And it’s a simple enough request, sure. But will we — the Internet-based hive mind of U.S. society, whose thirst and appetite for human blood has become as insatiable as Audrey II‘s — let them?
- Kanye West.
- The dentist who killed that one lion.
- That Bachelorette who banged everybody (IDK her name but it starts with a K?).
- Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Prince George.
- Meek Mill.
- The guy who wanted everybody to leave Britney alone.
- Sad Keanu.
- Bristol Palin.
- John Travolta.
- Rita Ora.
- Rob Kardashian.
- The Hamburglar.