Monthly Archives: August 2015

3 Things I Have to Give Gwyneth Paltrow Credit For

Shortly after I launched this blog — and yes, “launch” is probably too grandiose there — I wrote a post criticizing some tone-deaf comments by Gwyneth Paltrow about the difficulties she faces as a tremendously wealthy parent. The post was picked up by Freshly Pressed, which generated the most traffic I have ever had to my tiny weird blog, and which gave me an overly optimistic outlook on the prospects for my tiny weird blog. (If anyone has written up a six-figure book deal offer for me, but is saving it in their Drafts folder because it feels “too forward” to send it, know that I have been eagerly awaiting your message every day for the last 15 months.)

Anyway, my point is that I kind of owe Gwyneth Paltrow one, for making me the blogging semi-success that I am today. And by “semi-success,” I mean “blogging has not yet caused bad things to happen in my life, at least not in a direct way that I can easily track.” Not, like, “my aspirational newsletter has expanded into a full-fledged lifestyle brand with an editorial headquarters located in a barn on my Los Angeles property.”

Also, let’s be real — there’s no pride in taking potshots at Gwyneth. The phrase that comes to mind is “low-hanging fruit,” unless you prefer “fish in a barrel,” or perhaps even the super-classy “target-rich environment.” Instead, I find it nobler to give Gwyneth credit where credit is due — not just for launching (oops, sorry, there’s that word again) my blogging hobby, but ALSO for these three other random things I came up with after hours of  exhaustive, exhausting research.

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Filed under Meta Blogging, Pop Culture

How to Stop Breastfeeding a 2-Year-Old in Just 48 Steps

First, of course, you need to be breastfeeding a 2-year-old. Hang in there; this might take a minute…

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Filed under Questionable Parenting

Can These 17 People Live?!?

This is a list of people whispering plaintively into the nothingness of the universe, “Can I live?!?

And it’s a simple enough request, sure. But will we — the Internet-based hive mind of U.S. society, whose thirst and appetite for human blood has become as insatiable as Audrey II‘s — let them?

Probably not.

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Filed under Pop Culture

13 Feminist Celebrities, Judged

1. Emma Watson

Occupation: Inventor of feminism

Relevant Quote: “Chivalry should be consensual.”

Credibility Level: Hufflepuff

2. Tina Fey

Occupation: Relatable working mom

Relevant Quote: “People will say, ‘Oh, fashion magazines are so bad, they’re giving girls a negative message’ — but we’re also the fattest country in the world, so it’s not like we’re all looking at fashion magazines and not eating.”

Credibility Level: Ugh mom you are soooooo second-wave sometimes.

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Filed under Pop Culture