I love Richard Sherman, and you probably either agree wholeheartedly or disagree violently. Like Hillary Clinton, Lena Dunham, and virtually any other woman who has ever expressed an opinion outside the confines of a well-hidden diary, Sherman is a polarizing figure.
It’s a given that if you’re a Seattle Seahawks fan, you kiss a picture of #25 before you go to bed every night. If you root for another team in the NFC West (or really, any other NFC team) — yeah, you’re probably less enthusiastic.
As for me, I’m a Bengals fan, and the only high-stakes game they’d ever play against the Seahawks would be the Super Bowl … which means I probably don’t have much to worry about. So, with no rivalry concerns, I’m free to appreciate Sherman for his incredible athleticism and skill, as well as the fact that he’s one of the few NFL superstars with a genuine, discernible, non-bland personality.
I’m not saying you have to like the guy, too. (This is America! Let’s celebrate our different opinions — even yours, which are objectively wrong!) But I do feel compelled to point out that, love him or hate him, Richard Sherman is better than you.
Trust me when I say the ways are myriad, but these five are a good jumping-off point for further reflection.
1. Your hands are terrible.
Seriously, it’s like you’re walking around with cinderblocks on the ends of your goddamn arms. You couldn’t even catch feelings if you were a kicky divorcée of semi-advanced age in a Nancy Meyers movie.
2. You have never once annoyed Tom Brady.
“U Mad Bro?” was my first introduction to Richard Sherman, and I immediately became a huge fan of his work. Listen — Tom Brady is a wealthy, attractive star quarterback with multiple Super Bowl rings and a Brazilian supermodel wife. As such, anyone who makes Tom Brady feel a negative emotion is an American hero. Continue reading