10 Things I Really Mean When I Sign a Work Email With, “Thanks!”

This is a pretty short list, but it’s actually a prequel to a longer post I have in the works. So, please read this and know that it’s part of my larger manifesto on passive-aggressive emailing at work. (Trust me: I’ve spent the past eleven years of my life embedded in cubicle culture, like Jane Goodall amongst the chimps, and I can sling mud via Outlook with the bitchiest of primates.)

  1. Thanks in advance for doing your job, for once.
  2. I know you won’t like me for sending this message, so here’s a futile attempt to keep it friendly.
  3. Oh, sorry I actually asked you to do some work.
  4. Well, thanks for showing up today.
  5. So, are you going to do this shit, or not?
  6. Hey, thanks.
  7. No, really. Thanks soooooo much.
  8. Fuck you.
  9. Please don’t stop liking me, even though I’m a passive-aggressive emailer.
  10. Thanks!

 

5 Comments

Filed under My Stupid Life, Questionable Cubicling

5 responses to “10 Things I Really Mean When I Sign a Work Email With, “Thanks!”

  1. kbeck13

    HaHaHa!!! I love it. I like how “Thanks,” the actual word you used, is last. I sometimes say “many thanks” as a way to say, “hurry up and email me back with the answer so we can move ahead with this crap.” Not often, mind you, but sometimes. 😉

  2. Pingback: My Top 7 Work Email Passive-Aggressions | nihilisticle

  3. And sometimes when I say “If anything else, please feel free to let me know.” I really mean “Please don’t. Like really, please leave me alone.”

  4. This is incredibly true! Nip great, brief and relevant blog.
    If you have a moment have a quick look at my blog.

    http://thesignorina.com/

  5. Amika Press

    Number 8!

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