13 Reasons I’m Shitting My Pants Right Now

  1. It’s very late at night.
  2. I’m the only one awake in the house.
  3. I’m watching my husband and son, who are both sleeping on our bed, over the video monitor.
  4. I watched Paranormal Activity 4 today. (It wasn’t bad. Easily the fourth-best Paranormal Activity I’ve seen.)
  5. So my husband and son are both motionless, but my cat is also on the bed and licking herself in a very ordinary way, so I know the feed is live and hasn’t gotten stuck.
  6. I’m sitting at my laptop, maybe fifteen yards away — close enough to the bedroom that I can hear the white-noise machine both through the door and over the monitor.
  7. There’s a weird knocking sound I can hear over the monitor, but not through the door.
  8. I totally believe in ghosts. (I’m undecided about demons, because they always seem very religious to me, and I’m not a religious person. But anyway.)
  9. I’ve been watching this feed with the unexplained video-only knocking for a few otherwise-quiet minutes, and this is exactly the point in a Paranormal Activity movie where something loud/fast/scary would happen.
  10. OH MY GOD, THE BABY JUST STARTED CRYING RIGHT WHEN I TYPED “LOUD.”
  11. OK, he’s fine now. But that was terrible timing.
  12. Almost the kind of jump-scare fake-out you would find in a Paranormal Activity movie… that’s it. I’m totally shitting my pants.
  13. (Probably doesn’t help that I had huevos rancheros for brunch.)

11 Comments

Filed under My Stupid Life

11 responses to “13 Reasons I’m Shitting My Pants Right Now

  1. Gave me a laugh, thank you!

  2. Although I like to remain sceptical, I do tend to lean towards a belief in ghosts. One day, my daughter (two at the time) stopped eating her dinner, looked behind me, pointed over my shoulder and said ‘Daddy, Daddy, look’, I looked and saw nothing, said ‘What?’, she just smiled and said ‘It’s here!’ before turning and carrying on eating here dinner. Easily the freakiest moment of my life lol.

  3. That cracked me up, Im going to follow and keep looking around.
    This is how I relate- I choose to petrifying myself with series linked episodes of “the Haunted”. The funny thing is I always forget to pee before starting the episode so I have pee during. Inevitably that means turning the toilet light off and running back to my room in the dark with a demon right behind me (or so my creative, scared mind tells me, Im 40 years old by the way) Im also an insomniac so this is usually happening at 3am which everyone knows is the hour of the dead… why?

  4. What are huevos rancheros???

  5. This totally made me LOL. Thanks! I’m also glad to know that I am not the only one that becomes overly aware of things after watching paranormal films. I swear there was something living in our attic for the entire first month after I saw the first Paranormal Activity. 😉

  6. Thanks for the laugh! I can totally picture this and your mind going wacky…lol

  7. Pingback: 5 Times I Thought My House Was Haunted | nihilisticle

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